“Am I Truly Beautiful?”
A Jeshua, Miriam & Saint-Germain Channel
By Alexandra Mahlimay & Dan Bennack
December 22, 2009
Cluj-Napoca, Romania
www.joyandclarity.com
The following channel is part of a private session.
Dear One,
It is I, Jeshua, along with my companion, Miriam (Mary Magdalene), and my friend, Saint-Germain. We would like to speak to you about your feelings of insecurity. For some time now, you have been feeling very insecure about your attractiveness as a woman. Calm your fears. We are here to remind you that what is truly beautiful about you is your Divinity.
What Is Ideally Feminine?
My Dear, the insecurity that you are feeling about your attractiveness as a woman has been with you for a long time. This is nothing new to you. You have found ways to cope with it, but even so, it has kept you from feeling fully validated as a woman, and this troubles you.
You have mentioned in your question to us, that this issue has been brought to your attention by a woman who is present in your life right now. You say that she is a woman who seems to have a hypnotic effect upon you. In your eyes, she appears to embody all that is ideally feminine. She possesses a magical beauty and an engaging wit; and her charm, poise, and self-confident spontaneity always seem to command the attention of others.
You like to be around her, of course. And yet when you are with her, you are never quite sure if she is going to validate you by the attention that she shows you, or keep you feeling small and insignificant.
The promise of validation and the potential of rejection are overpowering you. This is why the relationship feels both exhilarating and dangerous to you at the same time, and this is why you are having problems seeing the relationship for what it really is.
The Beauty of Your Divinity
We ask you to look at this relationship now, and see what fears are surrounding it. Is this relationship telling you something about yourself that you may have difficulty accepting? Are you projecting your inner conflicts with self-esteem into your outer world of relationships? If so, then how might this woman be reflecting back to you, your own hopes, fears, and expectations about being a woman in today's world?
Dear One, you may need to ask yourself some questions that feel challenging to you now:
Are you afraid of not being loveable enough, good enough, or beautiful enough to be appreciated by others? Do you feel that you are not smart enough or powerful enough to command their respect? Are you afraid of not being noticed by men? By women? When you see yourself as small and insignificant, do you feel ashamed of yourself? If you do, can you remember other times that you have felt this way? Can you perhaps recall the first time you ever experienced these feelings?
Answering these questions may bring more painful feelings and experiences to the surface, but you need to reactivate them in order to allow them to be healed.
Once you can do this... once you can give clear expression to what has hurt you, then you will be able to name your fears clearly. They will no longer be a mystery to you. You will see them only as the masks that you wore to hide your True Beauty from yourself. That is all. There will be nothing left to project from your inner world of forgotten wounds into your outer world of relationships. You will be free. You will be able to step aside, and see for yourself, that your fears were never grounded in the Reality of Who You Really Are.
“You are a Child of God, and God also. This IS the Truth About You.” This is your fundamental Reality. You are a living embodiment of the Truth, Beauty, Love, and Goodness of the Original Creator. And although your mind has difficulty accepting this now, your heart knows it with certainty and embraces it completely.
What Is Happening Here?
You are asking us why this woman is having such a powerful effect upon you. Here is our answer:
You have some unconscious fears about expressing your beauty in front of others, and of giving voice to the natural charm, intelligence, and grace that you possess. You have inherited this fear from your family, your religion, your friends, and your world. You have been conditioned by them to believe that seeking attention as a woman is prideful and boastful... That it is an act of vanity, and a wish to be superior to others.
But this is not all. You have also entangled your desire to express your beauty, with some of your unacknowledged sexual needs. This has made your attempts to make yourself beautiful and attractive to others, also feel shameful and even sinful to you at times. Again, this is the result of your family and social conditioning, and has no real origin within you. You have done nothing wrong.
Dear Friend, your desire to express your beauty, and to be attractive to others is quite normal. It comes from an inner connection to your Divinity. It is a spontaneous thing. You see it often in babies and toddlers, as they charm the adults around them with their beautiful, playful eyes, and their coquettish smiles. There is nothing sinful or vain about this. They are only “playing with love.”
Why do infants play with their love, beauty, and charm in this way? It is really quite simple. They play with love this way, because Love is their natural state of awareness. They are fully aware of their Divinity.
Infants and toddlers are fully aware of their Divinity, and this enables them to easily recognize the Divinity in others, too. From this recognition, comes their desire to relate. To play. To engage. There is nothing wrong with this. It is all perfectly innocent and natural. Adults can engage their love and beauty in this way, too. They have just forgotten how. Their minds have gotten in the way.
Dear One, you have been taught by the world around you that expressing the beauty of your Divinity is wrong, and even sinful. This is why you are restraining yourself from such expressions, even though your impulses toward them are quite natural, loving, and wholesome.
This is your dilemma, and it is the source of your distress in the current situation.
Why Has This Relationship Appeared in Your Life?
You have asked us why this woman has appeared in your life, and we will tell you. It is because your mind is divided about your desire to feel beautiful, and this is causing you to suffer. Your confusing interaction with this woman is making you aware of this inner conflict.
When we say to you that your mind is split, here is what we mean:
Within your awareness, there is part of you that remembers that you are free to express your Divinity in any way that feels beautiful to you. This truth-aligned part of you is encouraging you to express your beauty as a woman.
But there is another part of you that is conditioned to believe that such expressions of beauty are wrong. This “fearful part of you” tells you that you shouldn't focus too much attention on your appearance because that would be an act of vanity, and even manipulation. It won't allow you to feel beautiful, without inducing shame or guilt.
Again, we tell you that this is why you have attracted this woman into your life. Your relationship with this woman is reflecting your own divided state of mind about whether you can express your beauty before others, or not.
What Consequences Will This Have?
As long as you do not recognize that you are projecting your inner conflicts into this relationship, your interactions with this woman are going to be filled with many contradictions about expressing your beauty. For example:
You are going to marvel at the way she can express her attractiveness, without any apparent difficulty or repercussions. You may find that you want to be like her, and consider that any attention she directs your way is a validation of your own desires to be beautiful and worthy.
At other times you may feel judged or punished by her for trying to be her equal. Then her behavior will appear condescending and even humiliating to you.
You may dislike her at times, and at other times you may feel completely captivated by her charms. You may find yourself believing that she is your best friend one day, only to discover that the next day she has betrayed your trust. You may want to bless her for helping you feel special now, only to revile her later for criticizing you and making you feel inferior.
You may feel hypnotized by her presence, and not know quite what to do. You will feel strongly attracted to something about her that you can't quite name, but you will also feel cautious and wary about getting involved with her too deeply.
But please understand that this is common. It is common to feel mesmerized by something that you desire, but that you also secretly fear. In your case, you are projecting this conflict into your relationship. You are projecting your desire, and your fear of expressing your beauty.
You are feeling hypnotized or paralyzed by this woman, as you said earlier, because you are not sure whether what you are witnessing is right or wrong. This is why this woman feels so powerful to you. She seems to be acting with impunity in the very area of life where you would like to express yourself, but where you fear that you might be punished, shamed, or judged instead.
Coming to Resolution
To bring this situation to resolution, you must understand that your desire to express yourself as a beautiful woman is a very natural impulse. There is nothing wrong it, or with you. It originates as something within you that is wholesome and holy. What you are experiencing is only your spontaneous desire to express that which is Truly Beautiful and Loving About You... and this IS your Divinity. Understand this, and you will swiftly release your conflict, and bring this situation to resolution sooner than you might imagine.
Now, Dear Friend...
What will you do with this knowledge?
We are Jeshua, Miriam, and Saint-Germain. We thank you for your question. Know that you are deeply loved, and that even before you ask for help, it is there for you.
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